In the article “Writing Your Way to Happiness”,Parker-Pope(2015) states that writing one’s own experience can develop physical and mental health. The author believes that our world outlook and self-positioning depends on these personal statements. Stanford researchers once carried out a study on the college freshmen. Results showed that writing could encourage people and give them confidence towards their future. Parker also mentions that writing can help people to face the difficulties in their life truly. By taking example of a woman Siri in the Johnson & Johnson Human Performance Institute, she realized her real problems through writing. Thus, it is asserted in the article that writing indeed helps you recognize what hinders you and give you a chance to change them.
Concluding all Parker's saying, he arbitrarily thinks that writing is crucial way making people live better. However, in my own opinion, actually the introspection makes people better.
In the text's examples, all interviewers are keeping writing, and making progress. People simply own the entire personal progress to keeping dairy. Nevertheless, what on earth helps people getting surpassing. In my point of view, it is self-examination helping people, while writing is an approach to assist people thinking themselves deeply then touch their inner hearts to release what they fear to face or what they eager to win. Through in communion with self-spirits, people can understand themselves more. Thus duties to themselves are born. Once people are aware of their duties and self actualization needs, they will create a plan and take action. That's why Siri realizes her real problem and changes her behaviors. Writing is real a good way to guide people their inner heart, but it is not the only way to have self-examination.
Christian encourages people to pray. They believe the god are able to hear the voice of prayer and give people a chance to start with a clean slate. My friends always says praying makes his life at ease and hopeful. Every time, after praying, he feels he was reborn at that moment. It makes him feel guiltless, and he is ready to face all challenges in his life. Praying also gives people a chance to have self-examination. It cleans people's thoughts and encourages people to discover their inner hearts and get a better lives.
There are so many friends in my life enjoying reading. Sizable of them agree that reading makes them. Reading gives people a valuable chance to communicate with these excellent celebrities , in which process people may get a new view of the world. Thus reading is another way to get a deep thinking.
In conclusion, hearing the voice from inner heart is the crucial point to lead a better life. And writing is not the only way for people to get self-examination. There also exist ways like praying or reading to help us pursue our real needs.
References
Tara Parker-Pope. (2015, Jan 19). Writing Your Way to Happiness [Web log post]. Retrieved from http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/19/writing-your-way-to-happiness/?_r=1&module=ArrowsNav&contentCollection=Health&action=keypress®ion=FixedLeft&pgtype=Blogs
content:
ReplyDeleteThe summary shows a clear idea of the original article and there is a clear transition between the summary and his own response. we also think that his thesis is not clear. "the introspection makes people better" is a valid point, but it should not be a thesis.
organization:
we think that the second last paragraph is not clear and it is not supporting your thesis well. Your examples are all from your personal experience. this makes the reader's response not credible. The paragraphing of the readers response is not clear. Try to leave a sentence after each paragraph or some spacing before the start of the sentence. the reader's response is also not written in reporting format.
language:
there are a lot of sentence structure mistakes.
"Nevertheless, what on earth helps people getting surpassing.">> you cannot use two continuous tenses together, eg "getting surpassing". There are a few repetitive mistakes that you have made regarding continuous tenses. Try to be more careful with it. "My friends always says praying makes his life at ease and hopeful. " << "friends always says" << this is wrong, it should be "my friends would always say that..." "Through in communion with self-spirits, people can understand themselves more. Thus duties to themselves are born." << the words are used wrongly here, the sentence does not really make sense. maybe you can try not to think in mandarin direct translation? "Every time, after praying, he feels he was reborn at that moment." << there is no need for additional commas here. "In my point of view, it is self-examination helping people, while writing is an approach to assist people thinking themselves deeply then touch their inner hearts to release what they fear to face or what they eager to win" << the same mistakes plus the sentence is too long. it becomes a run-on sentence.
done by juetong and zhenliang